In essence, we are born with an inherent understanding that we deserve love. Unfortunately, this assumption gets eroded in some of us. If we don’t receive the unconditional love and support we need from our parents as we grow, we begin to believe that love is conditional, depending on things like good grades, good performance in sports, unquestionable obedience, etc.
We come to believe, especially during our teenage years, that to be loved and accepted, we have to look and behave a certain way. So we move through life believing that love doesn’t come easily, that we must fulfill certain conditions in order to be worthy of it, and the more conditions there are - many of which we place on our ourselves - the less and less we feel we deserve love.”
Believing that we deserve love begins with one crucial factor: A healthy degree of self-love and a strong sense of self-worth. Without these, finding someone to truly love us, just the way we are, will be impossible. Once you start to treat yourself with love and respect, others will follow suit.
You won’t abide by mistreatment; you won’t want to be around people who set conditions on their love, who want you to change to fit their expectations. You will set healthy, reasonable boundaries. You will be filled with such an abundance of self-love that love from others will simply be an added bonus.”